Silver Fox Fallout
by Kesterpan
Summary: Sequel to my story Silver Fox, will likely make no sense whatsoever if you don't read that first. Gibbs is having a difficult time in the aftermath of his experiences as a fox. Tony tries to help, but they need to turn to others, including members of the team, to get past what happened. This is Gibbs/Tony pre-slash/slash in addition to the listed genres.
1. Chapter 1

_Here we go with the sequel to Silver Fox… it likely won't make any sense at all without having read that story first. I'm hoping to update every Sunday or Monday evening – can't promise it because life has been highly distracting (in good ways) and the muse has been elusive much of the time. I had hoped to have the story completed before I started posting, but I finally realized that if I waited for that it might never happen. _

_This is primarily a pre-slash/friendship fic, but it could very well get pretty slashy. It's not currently my intention to take it in an explicit direction, but I make no promises either way – we'll see how it goes. The usual disclaimer applies: I claim no ownership of anything affiliated with the show and the characters appearing in it. _

_This story starts less than two weeks after the end of Silver Fox. _

1: Dream State

_He was running. The scents and the sounds were sharper than he remembered. The air had a distinct chilly bite to it, but his fur kept him warm. _

_He sped up, leaping over branches, scrambling over rocks, always uphill, back to where he'd become human again. The only sound he made came from his own breathing. _

_The tree was there, up ahead, taller and broader than when they'd left, outlined against the grey sky. _

_He came to a stop and stared up at the tree, the smell of the evergreen overwhelming for a moment. He barked once, abrupt and demanding. There was no response at first, and then a shudder ran through the ground below his paws. The tree shook too, branches shifting despite the lack of any wind. _

_The trunk split from about a third of the way up the tree, a jagged rent that slowly moved down to the ground. It widened as it moved, forming a small cavern. _

_He stepped forward, stifling the apprehension, determined to finally confront this spirit and take his life back. He stepped in, walked several paces, then emerged into his own basement._

_He froze, then turned to see only smooth wall behind him. Scanning the room, he saw the boat, neglected ever since he was first changed, gathering dust. He whined softly, then made for the stairs; a noise from the back of the room caught his attention and he stopped. _

_Tony was there, looking at him, saying something he couldn't hear. He moved toward the man, his second, his friend, the one who'd helped him hold it together the first time around. Tony crouched down, reaching for him, and he moved quickly into his arms, seeing the change happening too late as Tony's form elongated and stretched until it was long, branch-like fingers reaching for him, their touch condemning him to remain a fox forever._

Gibbs bolted upright, the canine whine from the dream turning into a half-voiced, human protest. He looked around, eyes wide, then slumped back against the arm of the couch.

"Damn it!"

He reached up and rubbed at his eyes which were stinging from the sweat that had run into them. His heartbeat was slowing now, and he wondered if he should try to get back to sleep or give up and head to work early.

His cell phone rang. He reached for it, rolling his eyes at the ringtone Tony had programmed in.

"Change the damn ringer, will you?"

"_Sorry, Jethro. I thought it was funny, you know? I mean, it's kinda catchy, right?"_

"'Who let the dogs out'? Really?"

"_Yeah, okay, maybe not a great move…"_

"Ya think?"

There was a moment of silence, then a sigh. _"I really am sorry. I just thought it might help to try to laugh about it."_

Gibbs tossed the blankets aside and swung his legs off the couch, sitting up and leaning back against the cushions. "Yeah, well, maybe that wasn't the _worst_ idea you've ever had."

"_Guess coming off that dream didn't help."_

"Nope."

"_You okay?"_

Gibbs tried to figure out how to answer that question, but Tony beat him to it. _"You're not okay. That dream was pretty intense."_

"You shared it?"

"_Felt more like I was watching it this time… I was over by the stairs. Wasn't me turning into the tree spirit. Promise."_

"I know that, Tony."

"_Well, uh, good."_ There was a pause, and Gibbs could hear Tony shifting around on his bed. _"You need me to come over?"_

Gibbs reached up to rub at his eyes again. "Nah, don't worry about it. I'll just get up and head into work early."

"_Stop off at the diner, get a decent breakfast for a change."_

"Yes, mom."

"_Hey! Seriously Jethro, you need to eat. You're losing weight."_

"I'm fine."

Tony was silent for such a long time that Gibbs felt compelled to say something else. "Really. I am."

"_You're not, and you know it. You haven't worked on the boat, you're not eating… what do you think it means, that you dreamt I turned into the tree spirit?"_

"Hell if I know."

"_Mind if I take a shot at it?"_

"Would it matter if I say yes?"

"_Depends… you my boss right now, or my friend?"_

Gibbs sighed. "Friend."

"_Then no, it won't matter."_

Gibbs' lips twitched into a semblance of a smile. "Alright, then, shoot."

"_You said before that you didn't trust your feelings, that you weren't sure they're real, that the spirit might be forcing them on you. I'm thinking you're still feeling off balance, you're not trusting yourself, so you don't really feel like you can trust me either."_

"Tony –"

"_Hear me out. You _did_ change back on that mountain. You're you, you're human… if that tree spirit hadn't wanted to turn you back, it wouldn't have. I wouldn't even know where to begin to try to force it to do anything. Why would it want to cause you problems now? You brought it back home."_

"I don't have an answer to that."

"_I know. Just think about it, okay? And maybe come over here tomorrow night… or I'll come there. You have fewer nightmares if we're together, you know."_

"Don't wanna make your life difficult."

Tony snorted. _"Do me a favor and give yourself a head slap, will you? What makes you think after all these years that I have a problem with my life being difficult?"_

Gibbs smiled at that. "You sayin' I'm tough to live with, DiNozzo?"

"_I wouldn't know; we don't live together."_ Tony sighed and Gibbs could hear him shifting around again. _"Look, Jethro… I know you need time to deal with all this. I'll ask Abby about her shaman friend again tomorrow – I mean later today. I'd really like to meet this head on, so we can start talking about… stuff."_

"Yeah, I know."

"_I know you know. And I also know that until you trust that your feelings are yours, we really can't."_ Tony cleared his throat. _"You think maybe we should bring Ducky in on this? He's no shaman, but I bet he could give you some insight."_

"You think Ducky knows anything about Native American tree spirits?"

"_I don't think the tree spirits themselves are actually Native American. And if anyone who isn't a shaman or Abby knows anything about them, it would be Ducky." _

Gibbs hated to admit that Tony might be right about that, so he kept quiet.

"_You do need to talk to someone other than me. I'm biased. Ducky would hear you out, you know he would."_

"I'll think about it."

Tony laughed softly. _"You do that. So, since we can't very well have this conversation at work, am I coming to your place tomorrow night or are you coming here?"_

"Do I get a choice?"

"_Yeeeah… I just gave you one."_

"Can I choose neither?"

"_Nope. Not an option."_

"Since when are you the boss?

"_Since the boss isn't taking care of himself. It's my duty as your senior field agent to watch your back, even if it's against yourself."_

Gibbs sat back, suddenly feeling tired. "You keep right on doing that, Tony."

"_I will. You going back to sleep?"_

Yeah… think I am, actually."

"_Good. We don't have a case, so you showing up at work at 3 a.m. would be kinda strange."_

"Say goodnight, Tony."

"_Goodnight, Tony."_

Gibbs tossed the phone onto the coffee table and got back under the blankets, thinking. _Talking to Tony did make me feel better… maybe I will go over there tomorrow. Today. Tonight… whatever. _

A few minutes later, he was sliding off into sleep again.

_He was hiking with Tony, going up to the summit this time, for fun. They crossed a stream; Tony grabbed onto his arm to keep him from slipping off a rock. They reached a good place to camp and set up the tent together; Tony prepared dinner and they relaxed in front of the fire. They put out the fire, and Tony turned to look at him in the light of the full moon. _

"_Wanna run?" _

_Gibbs grinned at him; they shed their clothes, tossing them into the tent, then both changed shape, shifting into fox forms, Gibbs' silver and Tony's red. They took off through the forest, running together for the sheer joy of it._


	2. Chapter 2

_Yay, on time! Many thanks for all the wonderfully encouraging reviews and alerts. For those guest reviewers who were worried this isn't going to be slashy, it is… just not necessarily explicitly so. Unbetaed, which is often the case with me… many thanks to gosgirl for the kicking around of ideas – she always makes my work better._

2: Advice

**Sought After**

Tony stared at the elevator doors, idly tapping his fingers on his thigh as he leaned back against the wall, thinking hard.

_Never seen Gibbs so off balance… not for so long, anyway. Sure, anyone can crack a bit, but Gibbs always recovers… well, except when he ran off to Mexico, but that was different. Anyone would have lost it under those circumstances… and when he came back, he covered pretty well. Not perfect, but not bad. This, though… and I can't really blame him if that's what it felt like to be a fox – I mean, wow. The whole body shifty thing was weird enough, but to be able to run like that, and the smells! Wow. That was cool. Freaky, but cool. Two dreams about being back on the mountain in one night… why? Does the tree spirit want him – us – to go back? Is it lonely? Do tree spirits get lonely?_

The elevator came to a stop and Tony straightened his jacket as the doors slid open. He crossed the hall and strode into Abby's lab, intent on getting some sort of answer to help his friend.

"Hey, Abs."

She whirled around in place, her lab coat flaring out as she turned from her computer. "Tony!" She moved forward, pulling him into a hug.

"Wow! I should come down here and start the day like this every morning. Hell of an ego boost!"

Abby grinned and hopped backwards. "You mean you and Gibbs haven't gotten to the hugging stage yet?"

Tony gave her a mock stern look. "Get your mind out of the gutter, young lady!"

She mock pouted right back at him. "Oh, please… hugging is not gutter material. That's what happens after the hugging! But if you're not hugging yet, then you haven't gotten that far, have you?"

Tony shook his head. "Abs, the farthest we've gotten is to acknowledge that there's something there that we should talk about."

"But that's still good, right?"

"I guess… but Gibbs isn't in any shape to talk about it."

Abby stepped back a bit, frowning. "Still having dreams, huh?"

Tony nodded. "Two last night alone. They've got him doubting himself… and me as a result."

"You?! How could he possibly doubt you, of all people?" Her eyes narrowed; Tony could tell she was one step away from marching off to confront Gibbs. He reached out and gently took hold of her arm.

"Easy, Tigress!"

"Oh, I love Kung Fu Panda! Let's put that on the list for our next movie night!"

Tony grinned at the quick change of subject. "Only if you promise to let me and Gibbs work this out… don't push."

"But, Tony –"

"But, nothing. I'm serious. It's not that Gibbs doubts me, not really… he's not trusting his feelings right now. Thinks maybe the tree spirit is influencing him." He watched her brow furrow. "Do you think that's even possible?"

She looked at him helplessly. "Tony, I have no idea what's really possible! I wouldn't have guessed at the existence of tree spirits if you hadn't shown up with a four-footed and long-tailed silver fox Gibbs that morning. I figured out the ritual to help get him back, but that was part logical deduction, part luck… I haven't got the slightest idea how to find more information about the tree spirits. The Internet isn't always the most reliable source, you know."

"Yeah, I know. Sorry… didn't mean to make it sound like I think you're dropping the ball. I know you aren't."

Abby reached out and poked him in the chest. "I give you guys one hundred and ten percent, every time."

"You underestimate yourself." Tony took hold of her hand and raised it to his lips, bestowing a kiss to the back while she looked on delightedly. "Is your shaman friend going to be back in town soon?"

"Greg? I hope so… last I heard, he had a family emergency and was going to have to cut back through Vermont before heading this way. So I don't know for sure when he'll be back." She blinked at the strange expression on his face. "What?"

"Greg?"

"Yeah?"

"Greg the shaman? Seems a little too, I dunno, normal."

Abby laughed. "What were you expecting, Gandalf?"

"That would be really cool."

"Has Gibbs even seen those movies?"

"No clue. But I bet he's read the books. Tolkein was in the British Army in World War I, you know."

"And you say I can't keep to the topic. Greg just goes by Greg Monlatak… his given name is Klegual Monladaque."

"That sounds a bit more shamany."

"Is shamany a word?"

"It is now. You made hinky a word, I made shamany a word."

"Hinky's been a word since the nineteen twenties."

Tony stared at her. "Really?"

She shrugged. "I think we're way, way off topic now, don't you? What's wrong with Gibbs? Why doesn't he trust his gut?"

Tony shook his head. "The dreams are a big part of it… the fact that we're sharing them just makes it a lot worse. You know that's not normal." He leaned back against the table. "Last night, he dreamt I turned into the tree spirit. I was in the dream, but watching from across the room. We talked on the phone after –"

"On the phone? I thought you were staying at his place."

"I was… we decided to see if nights apart stopped the shared dreaming. Obviously they didn't. He fell asleep after, though, and we shared this dream that we were both back on that mountain and turned into foxes. We went running together."

Abby crossed her arms over her chest. "So he thinks the tree spirit is sending the dreams?"

"I guess… causing them in some way, anyway." Tony's eyes met hers. "Abby, Gibbs is losing weight. He's not eating, not sleeping well… he's starting to get short-tempered upstairs, you know. Do you think your friend can figure this out?"

"I must say, Anthony, I'm a bit hurt that Jethro hasn't come to me if he's dealing with a medical problem."

Tony pushed off from the table and turned around to see Ducky in his lab coat, standing in the doorway with his hands in his pockets, shooting him a disapproving look. Abby bit her lip and waved. "Hey, Ducky!"

Tony cleared his throat. "Wow… the Duckman, making with the sneaky. How much did you hear, exactly?"

Ducky's eyebrows shot up. "I only just walked in to hear you saying that Jethro isn't eating or sleeping properly. Was there more?"

Tony let out a long rush of air. "Yeah, there's more. It has to do with our recent trip to New Hampshire."

Ducky tilted his head to one side. "Yes, Ziva and Timothy came to me just the other day, asking what I knew, which is nothing, of course."

Tony groaned quietly. "We told them to drop it."

"Yes, well, they don't appear to be listening." Ducky looked at Abby. "So who is this friend whose medical knowledge is valued more highly than my own?"

"Ducky!" Abby ran forward and threw her arms around him. "It's not like that. Gibbs isn't having medical trouble, not really… it's more of a spiritual nature."

Ducky's arms automatically went around the much taller woman while he met Tony's gaze. "Is Jethro seeking counseling?"

"Not in a conventional sense, no… look, Ducky, he's probably coming over to my place this evening. He seems to do better if I'm around. Why don't you drop by tonight, assuming we don't have a case?"

Ducky nodded. "I shall do that. I do wish you'd talked to me sooner, dear boy."

Tony sighed. "Yeah… me too. Let's hope Gibbs doesn't decide to shoot me for doing it at all." He headed for the door, patting Abby on the shoulder as he left. "Don't spill the beans, Abs… let Gibbs decide how much to tell him."

Abby nodded, while Ducky just stood there, a worried expression on his face.

**Unwanted**

Tony made his way back upstairs, trying to decide how to break this latest news to Gibbs. Away from work, Gibbs was calmer, easier to talk to, like he had been on the phone the previous night. It was a different story around the rest of the team, though.

Gibbs, McGee, and Ziva were all at their desks when he walked from the elevator back to his own desk. McGee and Ziva looked up as he approached; Gibbs didn't.

"Nice of you to join us, DiNozzo."

Tony grimaced as he sat down. "Was consulting with Abby, Boss."

Gibbs didn't say anything else, so Tony opened up his email and sent him a quick note.

_Greg the shaman delayed in New England. Was voicing general concerns to Abby when Ducky overheard… just about you not eating or sleeping. He's concerned. I asked him to come to my place the evening._

He hit send, then spent the next few minutes covertly watching Gibbs until the man looked up from his paperwork and hit a few keys while looking at the monitor. Seconds later he slammed his hand down on the desk, shot Tony a vicious glare, then stood, grabbing his jacket as he stormed out of the bullpen and off to the elevator.

Tony exhaled and sat back when Gibbs disappeared from view, accompanied by the usual ding of the elevator. Ziva and McGee rose as one and moved over to his desk.

"This is becoming intolerable," Ziva declared.

"Tony," McGee broke in, "you've got to do something. He's been a bear since you guys got back from New Hampshire, and it's only getting worse."

Ziva leaned into Tony's space. "Tell us what happened up there. We should all put our brains together and find a way to help him get past whatever it was."

Tony made a face at the mental image that popped into his head. "Heads together, Ziva. Brains together sounds like a bad sci-fi movie."

She rolled her eyes. "Brains, heads, our brains are in our heads. It is all the same."

McGee shot her a look. "Seriously, Tony. Maybe we can help."

"Believe me, the best thing you can do is focus on your work and stop trying to dig around behind our backs. It's not helping. I've got it under control."

The elevator dinged again, and a second later Gibbs' voice rang out. "DiNozzo!"

"Oops, gotta go!" Tony jumped to his feet and ran for it, hearing McGee mutter behind him, "So that's what control looks like?"

Gibbs was glaring when he got in and hit the button to go down.

"Coffee, Boss?"

"What the hell, Tony? I don't want to rehash all of this with Ducky."

Tony raised his hands in a placating gesture. "Maybe you should, Gibbs. If Greg the shaman gets held up, and the dreams don't get better… maybe Ducky can at least treat some of the symptoms, you know? Give you something to help you sleep, maybe stop the dreams."

Gibbs stared at Tony for a moment; the anger slid from his face to be replaced by a sort of contrite confusion. "Hell, Tony… the dreams aren't all bad."

Tony looked at him carefully. "Was kinda fun running together in that last one," he ventured.

"Yeah." Gibbs looked down at the floor, then up again as the elevator stopped. "With me," he said as he strode out.

Tony followed him to his favorite coffee shop. Gibbs ordered for each of them and paid too, which told Tony a lot about his state of mind. They sat at a small, out of the way table, and Tony raised his coffee after Gibbs gave it to him. "Thanks, Jethro."

Gibbs nodded, then sipped at his own drink.

"You know," Tony started tentatively, "Ducky knows something about everything. He might even know about tree spirits."

Gibbs sighed and slumped in his chair. "Feel like I'm losing it," he grumbled.

Tony shook his head. "I don't think you are." He leaned forward a bit. "I think our little experiment has told us everything it can… let me at least have your six at night. Dreams seem better if I'm there."

Gibbs sipped thoughtfully at his coffee, then nodded. "Yeah."

"Great. My place tonight?"

"Yeah. Okay."

"And Ducky?"

Gibbs hesitated, then shook his head.

"Jethro… I'll follow your lead. If you don't want to tell him what happened, make something up to explain the not eating and not sleeping… he can at least try to help with that."

Gibbs looked at him for a long moment, then gave a short, single nod. "Alright."

Tony smiled at him, then tried to cover his relief with a gulp of coffee.

"Shall we go back? Paperwork on this last case is a bitch."

They walked back slowly; once in the elevator, Tony took a chance and reached up to gently run his fingers through Gibbs' hair and then squeeze his neck. "It's gonna be okay."

Gibbs leaned into the touch for a moment, so much like the fox had done that Tony could almost feel the soft fur under his hand.

**Offered**

Tony was cleaning up the last of their take out dinner when the doorbell rang. He poked his head out of the kitchen to see Gibbs get up from the couch and head for the door. Seconds later he heard voices, so he finished up the cleaning, washed his hands, and went out to the living room to see Ducky taking a seat on the overstuffed chair while Gibbs sat back down on the couch.

"Hey, Ducky."

"Anthony." Ducky nodded to him, then looked over at Gibbs. "My dear boy, you look positively haggard."

"Gee, thanks."

Ducky waved his hand as if brushing the sarcasm away. "I'm sure I'm only stating out loud what you've already seen in the mirror. Why have you waited this long to speak to me about it?"

Gibbs reached up to rub at his eyes, then turned to look at Tony. Tony looked back, trying to send his support with whatever decision Gibbs made. Ducky watched them, intrigued by their silent communication.

Finally Gibbs sighed and turned to his long-time friend. "Duck… this is going to sound crazy."

Ducky smiled, looking back and forth between him and Tony. "I take it the two of you have finally taken steps?"

Tony straightened up on the couch. "Um… steps toward what?"

Ducky tilted his head. "Based on what I've observed as well as what I've heard from Timothy and Ziva, your relationship has undergone quite the change over the past several weeks. I assumed that you, Jethro, have been having some trouble understanding this new side of yourself."

Gibbs stared at Ducky. "What the hell have you been observing?"

Ducky blinked but otherwise ignored Gibbs' tone. "Your silent communication just now, the way the two of you stand closer together than has been your custom. The other day, I came around the corner outside interrogation and you, Anthony, had your hand on the back of Jethro's head. You appeared to be petting him. All of that, together with a myriad of other observations as well as Timothy's and Ziva's complaints about your secrecy, simply led me to a logical conclusion."

Tony remembered that incident in the hallway; the case they'd caught not long after getting back from New Hampshire had involved the kidnapping and murder of a Navy wife and her young daughter. They'd caught the killer, but Gibbs had been dealing with too many memories in addition to the stress from his encounter with the tree spirit; it had taken every strategy Tony could come up with to keep Gibbs from assaulting the man during questioning.

He looked at Gibbs now, searching for some hint of what to say. The older man was staring at Ducky, and suddenly started laughing.

"In some ways, you're not wrong, Duck. Tony and me… we've got stuff to talk about. But that's easy compared to the rest of it."

Ducky leaned forward. "Then tell me. Let me help you, Jethro."

Gibbs sighed and looked at Tony. Then he gestured toward him. "Tell him."

"All of it?"

"Might as well."

Tony nodded. "Okay." He turned toward Ducky. "A few weeks ago, I went looking for Gibbs late at night, but couldn't find him. Found his clothes, though… on the floor, in the basement, with a silver fox inside them. Took the fox to Abby… who realized the fox and Gibbs were one and the same. She did some research, found out that a tree spirit from New Hampshire had been living in a tree that someone illegally cut down and sold for lumber… and Gibbs bought it for his boat. Abby did more research, figured out what we needed to do to get Gibbs back in his human form. We went to New Hampshire, got a tree seedling, hiked up the mountain, planted it, did this ritual thingy, and the next morning, Gibbs was human again. So we came home."

Ducky stared at him for a long time, then turned to look at Gibbs, who continued the story. "Tree spirit got in my head… I've been having dreams ever since it turned me into a fox. Thing is, Tony shares those dreams with me now. So… what you thought you were observing – a little premature. Until I know what I'm feeling is me and not the spirit's influence, I don't trust it, and I don't want to hurt Tony by trying."

Ducky looked between the two of them. "I think I'd enjoy this story more if it were April the first."

Tony shook his head. "Not pulling your leg, Ducky, I swear. Talk to Abby, or better yet, talk to Vance. He had to approve our trip, so he saw Gibbs in fox form." Tony suddenly got to his feet. "Almost forgot…" He went quickly into his bedroom, coming out with a stack of pictures. "Here… I printed these after we got back."

He handed the stack to Gibbs, who went through them quickly. "Didn't know you did all this."

"Had too… like you said before, Abby and me, we're happy to have you back but we were gonna miss the fox."

Gibbs passed the stack to Ducky, who went through them thoughtfully. He stopped at one picture that Gibbs had known about, when he'd been sitting with Abby in the basement, looking up at the camera.

"This is certainly a fox… but those are your eyes, Jethro."

Gibbs nodded. "It's how Abby knew right away it was me." He glanced at Tony with a raised eyebrow.

"I could see it too, you know," Tony protested. "Didn't want to believe it."

Gibbs reached out and squeezed Tony's hand, keeping his own there afterwards. Ducky looked up from the picture, clearly noting their hands but not saying anything about them.

"Well, Jethro, I must admit I didn't come here tonight expecting anything like this."

Gibbs gave him a small smile. "You thought I was having a sexual identity crisis."

"Well, yes, I have no trouble admitting to that."

Gibbs shrugged. "Tony's always had my six, Duck. This just proved to both of us that we're already more connected than we realized."

Ducky leaned forward. "You're sharing dreams?"

Both men nodded. "So," Tony said, "what do you know about tree spirits?"

Ducky laughed. "I? Absolutely nothing, my boy. But I'm flattered you thought I would." He settled back in his chair, looking at them both thoughtfully. "So this counseling you're seeking, with Abby's friend?"

Gibbs looked uncomfortable, so Tony spoke up. "He's a Native American shaman. Greg the shaman. I forget which tribe… she told me, but I don't remember."

"Abenaki," Gibbs supplied.

"Yeah, that."

"Greg the shaman…" Ducky mused. "Well, I certainly hope he will be more helpful than I can hope to be when it comes to unraveling the mystery of these dreams. All I can say to both of you, especially you, Jethro, is that if there's any validity to what I've seen over the past decade or so, your feelings for each other are real and not the product of some meddling magician."

"Nice alliteration!"

"Thank you, Anthony. Now, what I can do… Jethro, would you like me to prescribe a sleeping aid?"

Gibbs grimaced. "Don't much like taking that stuff."

Ducky nodded. "Anthony, are the two of you staying together outside of work?"

"We are now, at least I think so. Gibbs seems to sleep better and eat more when I'm around."

"Good. Then, Jethro, I prescribe a nightly dose of Anthony's company to help keep you grounded until you can get some answers from this shaman. I shall also write you a prescription… get it filled in the morning. You don't have to take the pills, but at least you'll have them should you need them."

Gibbs inclined his head. "Thanks, Duck."

Ducky pulled a prescription pad out of his jacket pocket, wrote quickly, then tore off the sheet and handed it to Gibbs. He stood, draping his long coat over his arms. "Please do keep me updated. If there's anything else I can do to help, I would very much like to know about it." The others rose to their feet, walking with Ducky to the door. He turned to look at them both before opening it. "I must say, I do feel privileged that you took me into your confidence. I certainly understand why you didn't at first, and why you haven't told Ziva or Timothy."

"Thanks, Duck."

"You might consider trying to act more like yourself at work; that might encourage them to leave all this alone."

Gibbs put his hand up on Tony's shoulder. "Staying here will help." He reached out to shake Ducky's hand. Tony did the same, then opened the door, watching Ducky walk down the hall for a moment before closing and bolting it.

He turned to look at Gibbs. "You surprised me there."

Gibbs shrugged. "Seemed like the thing to do."

They moved back to the couch and sat down. "You think he's right? What he's observed, I mean?"

Gibbs reached for Tony's hand and entwined their fingers. He looked at their joined hands for a moment, then up at Tony. "Feel right to you?"

"Yeah."

Gibbs nodded. "Me too." He took in a breath, then hesitated before speaking. "Still not ready to jump into something… not without knowing more about what's going on."

"I get that." Tony reached up to stroke the back of Gibbs' head. "This sort of thing okay?"

Gibbs nodded. "Yeah. Calms me down."

"Good. Me too."

They sat there for a while, thinking, until Tony perked up. "You ever see Lord of the Rings?"

Gibbs shook his head. "Read the books."

Tony sighed. "Should have placed a bet. Wanna watch the first movie?"

"First?"

"There's three. I think you'll like them."

"Yeah, sure."

Tony let go of Gibbs' hand and moved to his DVD collection, pulling out one of the cases. "The Fellowship of the Ring, Extended Version." He popped the disc in the player, then went around the apartment turning off the lights.

Several hours later, Gibbs slept on the couch while Tony lay back in the recliner, watching over him and making plans to get a larger bed delivered as soon as possible. He fell asleep eventually, and neither dreamed that night.


	3. Chapter 3

_Many, many thanks for all the reviews and alerts. Can't tell you how much I appreciate them! Special thanks to gosgirl, who helped me out by tossing ideas back and forth across the pond, and to Ziver69 who gave me a bunny… I think you'll recognize it! Unbetaed, so there are likely some little mistakes here and there._

3: Perspectives

**Subterfuge**

Tony flipped through the cold case file on his desk, shifting in his chair for the umpteenth time while glancing over at Gibbs… again. This time their eyes met; Gibbs rolled his and shook his head. A few seconds later a new window popped up on Tony's monitor.

_Lj_gibbs: You're worse than usual._

_Ad_dinozzo: Want to go talk to Ducky._

_Lj_gibbs: So go already._

_Ad_dinozzo: Need a reason so the terrible twosome won't interrogate me later._

"DiNozzo!"

"Yeah, Boss!"

"Go see Ducky. He's got that update on the Belford case ready."

Tony jumped up to his feet. "On my way." He moved out from behind his desk; Ziva sat up straight and stared at Gibbs.

"I did not hear the phone."

Tony slowed his steps, sharing a grimace with McGee before glancing over at Gibbs, who leveled Ziva with his best blank stare.

"You finished with that cold case, David?"

"I am just saying –"

"If you're done with that one, I should have your report in the next five minutes."

"Gibbs, I –"

"Next case report in thirty."

Ziva muttered something under her breath but refocused on the work in front of her. Tony sped up and made his way to the back elevator, hitting the button and sighing in relief when the doors opened immediately. As soon as they closed behind him, he pulled out his phone and sent a quick text.

_Still want me to talk to him about what we discussed this morning?_

It took a moment, but he got a response before he reached Autopsy.

_Yes._

Tony smiled slightly, then stepped into Autopsy. Jimmy Palmer stood at the sink; there was no sign of Ducky.

"Autopsy Gremlin! What'cha doin'?"

Jimmy looked up and grinned at him. "Cleaning pipettes."

Tony blinked, then walked over to take a closer look. "You mean you actually do that? I always figured it was just an excuse to get out of Gibbs' way."

"Both, actually." Jimmy smiled. "I clean them, then they go in the autoclave for sterilization. Wouldn't want to contaminate evidence!"

Tony clapped the younger man on the shoulder. "We'll make a field agent of you yet. Ducky around?"

Jimmy nodded. "Abby called him to her lab maybe twenty minutes ago."

"Awesome. I'll head over there." He started to step away, then hesitated. "If Tim or Ziva ask –"

"I have no idea where any of you are."

Tony reached up and touched the side of his nose. "Thank you, Black Lung."

Jimmy reached up and did the same, leaving a dollop of laboratory soap on his face. "Anytime, Very Special Agent."

**Conference**

Tony found Abby and Ducky together in her office. They were both sitting at her computer, looking at the monitor.

"Anthony, my dear boy! Come, join us."

"Hey Ducky, Abs."

Abby looked up at him and smiled. "Hey, Tony! I'm just showing Ducky my research on tree spirits."

Ducky sat back in his chair and turned toward Tony, who leaned against a nearby file cabinet. "I must say, Native American mythology is truly fascinating. I feel as though there's a whole new world to be discovered. I am, of course, fully conversant with both Greek and Roman mythology, as they were considered essential to a young man's education back in the day, and I've learned much of South American myths, although by that time my focus was more on medicinal lore. Celtic, well, that goes without saying, of course –"

"So, what do you think, Ducky?" Tony interrupted. "You really buying into all this?"

Ducky peered up at him. "Did you think I wasn't?"

Tony shifted his feet. "Well… I didn't expect you to accept it all as easily as you did last night."

Ducky nodded thoughtfully. "I suppose I can understand your concern. I did have a moment or two of hesitation after I arrived home, but," he held up his right hand, pointing his forefinger toward the ceiling, "that picture you shared was most convincing. There's no doubt in my mind that those eyes were Jethro's, and not canine in any way."

Abby nodded emphatically. "It was so obvious, right from the start." She looked over at Tony. "Except to mister stubborn over here."

Tony rolled his eyes. "It was sort of difficult to take in, you know. And I didn't want to believe it."

"No," Ducky commented, looking at him shrewdly, "I can't imagine you would."

Tony just looked at him, head tilted slightly to one side.

"My dear boy, it's quite obvious that one of your main goals in life is keeping that man safe, even from himself if need be."

Tony pushed off from the cabinet, reaching down to pick up the stuffed bat sitting on Abby's desk. "Yeah, well…"

Ducky reached out and took hold of Tony's arm. "Anthony, getting involved with you would be one of the smartest things Jethro's done since I've known him."

Tony's hands stilled, and he met Ducky's eyes. "Yeah?"

"Yes, indeed." Ducky watched Tony's face, changing the subject when he saw his eyes drop. "But about my acceptance of your story… it's been obvious for the past week or so that Jethro's been deeply troubled, somewhat lost, I'd say. You and Abigail have clearly been concerned; he is too important to you both for you to treat his concerns as a joke. And for him to perpetuate it… well, that would be completely out of character."

Tony nodded and put the bat back on the desk. "So… what do I do to help him?"

"What you've been doing, my boy. How was he last night, after I left?"

"We watched a movie, then he crashed on the couch. I slept on my recliner."

"Any dreams?"

"None."

"That is an encouraging sign."

Tony shrugged. "Yeah, as long as they aren't nightmares. Kinda miss the other ones, though."

Abby opened her mouth, then shut it quickly, compressing her lips together. Tony grinned at her. "No sex dreams, Abs, sorry."

She gave him a small smile. "I tried not to go there, really."

He laid one hand over his heart, then used it to point at her. "Don't ever change."

Her smile broadened, and Tony winked at her.

Ducky stood. "I should be getting back to Mr. Palmer."

"Hold up, Ducky… Gibbs and I were talking this morning, and we have a question for you."

"Yes?"

"McGee and Ziva… they're clearly not gonna let it go. Tim would, I think, but you know how Ziva's nose gets out of joint if she thinks she's being left out. We'd tell them the truth if we didn't think it was going to make things worse… so we're looking for a way to put them off. Do you think there's something medical you could say Gibbs has, something that they'd understand and accept?"

Ducky sighed. "Anthony… I don't have to _say_ he has something. He _does_ have a medical condition brought on by this experience."

"Um, that would be…"

"Post Traumatic Stress Disorder."

Abby grimaced. "Really?"

Tony frowned, staring at the wall for a moment before moving his gaze to the medical examiner's face. "It fits, doesn't it?"

Ducky nodded. "Nightmares, trouble sleeping, irritability – yes, I know, that would be almost normal – not eating… now, that one may be a result of the rest, rather than a more immediate sign." He glanced at Abby, and reached out to pat her reassuringly on the shoulder. "It's alright, my dear… I'd be more worried if he were shutting himself off from us, but he's doing the opposite. He's talked to us, and he's actively seeking Tony's help."

"What've I got, Duck?"

"PTSD, Jethro… but you already knew that, didn't you?"

Gibbs met Tony's eyes as he moved further into the room, then shifted his gaze to Ducky's. "Yeah, saw enough of it in the Corps to recognize the symptoms. Figured it was a good possibility." He grimaced slightly. "Wanted to be stronger than that," he admitted.

Ducky's eyes narrowed. "You _are_ strong, Jethro. The very fact that you haven't shut us out as you've tried to deal with the aftermath of what had to be an extremely difficult experience proves that you have tremendous strength."

Abby pushed past Ducky and Tony and hit Gibbs with a bear hug. "You _are_ strong, Gibbs! You're Gibbs! You're the strongest man I know."

He hugged her back. "Thanks, Abs."

"You're welcome." She squeezed him tighter. "And I don't think you're being influenced by the tree spirit. I just don't think it can reach that far. Your feelings for Tony are yours, not its." She moved back a bit to look at his face. "I mean, I don't think the tree spirit has feelings for Tony, it's just that if you weren't so worried about those feelings and about Tony's feelings, _then_ maybe you'd be under the influence, of the spirit, I mean, not drunk or something, 'cause you don't do that as much as you used to, do you? What I'm trying to say is that you being worried about your feelings means they're your feelings, not feelings it forced on you."

The three men stared at her for a moment, then Ducky cleared his throat. "I do agree with Abigail, Jethro. When I consider how close you and Tony have grown over the years, together with my own observations and the way he's able to help you now, I must say I feel it would be completely natural for you both to contemplate taking your relationship to another level."

Gibbs glanced at Tony, then blinked several times before clearing his own throat. Tony grinned. "Before Gibbs starts looking for escape routes," he made a show of ducking out the way of a threatened head slap, "maybe we should move on."

Ducky and Abby shared a smile before Ducky stepped forward to pat Gibbs' forearm. "Just think about it, Jethro." He started to move toward the door. "Send Timothy and Ziva to me whenever it's convenient." He began humming a tune before breaking it off. "I really must return to Autopsy… I told Mr. Palmer to clean pipettes, but I just remembered they're the disposable ones. I do hope he hasn't wasted too much time on that."

The three of them watched him go; Tony bit his lip and made a mental note to give Jimmy some grief later. Abby turned to look at Gibbs. "Did that help?"

Gibbs leaned in and kissed her cheek. "Yeah, Abs. Thanks." He turned to leave. "Come on, Tony. Let's get McGee and David off our backs."

"On your six, Boss!" Tony moved into Abby's space, pulled her into a hug, spun in a quick circle, set her down, then followed Gibbs out of the room.

Abby grabbed Bert off his perch on top of the file cabinet, and squeezed hard. "He'll be okay, Bert. You'll see."

**Elevator**

Tony stopped the elevator as soon as it was between floors.

"You okay? That was more group sharing since… well, ever."

Gibbs leaned back against the elevator wall and laughed quietly. "Yeah… no kidding." He shook his head. "Feel like I'm a sample under one of Abby's microscopes."

Tony moved closer and reached out to lay his hand on the back of Gibbs' neck; the other man leaned into the touch and closed his eyes. "For what it's worth, Jethro… you may have PTSD, but you're handling it well."

Gibbs shrugged, keeping his eyes shut. "Know I'm not as bad off as some of the guys I served with." He turned to look at Tony. "Some of that's 'cause of you."

Tony inclined his head and took a chance. "For you… anything."

Gibbs looked at him seriously. "I know. Just… don't want to take advantage."

"You're not. You wouldn't – tree spirit or no. I have faith in you, Jethro."

Gibbs' eyes darkened. "Means a lot, Tony."

They stared at each other for a moment, then Tony smiled slightly and dropped his hand. "Not the place to continue this."

Gibbs returned the smile, his a bit rueful. "Not the time either. But, Tony," he said, reaching out to grasp Tony's arm when the younger man reached across to hit the elevator switch, "I heard what they said, loud and clear. I'll think it over."

Tony met his eyes and nodded. "I know."

Gibbs held on a moment longer, then dropped his hand and Tony set the elevator back in motion.

**Partial Truths**

They stepped off the elevator; Gibbs turned to Tony. "Go with them… give them enough to believe it."

"Will do, Boss."

Tony followed Gibbs back to their desks. Gibbs spoke as he rounded the corner. "McGee, Ziva… go with DiNozzo to see Ducky."

The junior agents looked up, then at each other before they rose to follow Tony back to the elevator. He glanced back to see Gibbs sitting at his desk, leaning back in his chair and staring blankly at the monitor.

No one said a word until the elevator was moving, at which point McGee spoke up. "The Belford case doesn't need all of us… so what's going on?"

Ziva turned to face Tony. "Are we finally going to get some answers?"

Tony looked at her expressionlessly, then stepped out of the elevator while the doors were still opening. He led the way into Autopsy, where Jimmy Palmer was just dumping a load of soapy pipettes into a trashcan. Tony walked over to him, placing both hands on his shoulders. "My condolences, Black Lung."

Jimmy sighed heavily, then shot Tony a small grin. "It happens."

Ducky walked over to them all. "My, that was quick." He glanced at the soggy pile. "Mr. Palmer… why don't you take Abigail out to lunch? My treat."

Jimmy's eyes widened. "Really? That's… awesome! Thank you, Dr. Mallard!" He hurried out the door, forgetting to remove his soapy gloves.

Ducky chuckled as he watched him go, then turned to look at the three agents. "Shall we all sit down?"

Chairs were moved around until the four of them were seated in a loose circle near Ducky's desk. The M.E. removed his glasses and wiped them with a clean handkerchief before putting them back on and looking seriously at McGee and Ziva. "Jethro has agreed to let me speak with you both on his behalf."

McGee shifted nervously. "He's alright, isn't he?"

Ducky sighed, looking at Tony, who took his cue. "He's okay, Tim. It's just… well, remember what he said, after we got back from New Hampshire?"

McGee's brow furrowed; Ziva was the one who spoke up. "He told us that you saved his life."

Tony nodded. "It was a… difficult trip. I can't give you details, per Vance's orders, but there was a lot at stake. I told Tim there was a real chance that Gibbs wouldn't make it back."

Ziva's eyes widened, then narrowed angrily. "You went into such a dangerous situation without letting us be there to back you up?"

Tony nodded. "Vance's decision. Limit the risk. The situation was such that more people would have been suspicious. One night, halfway through the trip… it was really touch and go. Neither of us knew if he was going to make it."

Tony fell silent as he remembered Gibbs' misery when he didn't immediately turn back to his human form, and his own fear that he'd messed up the ritual. It was only when Ducky cleared his throat that Tony brought himself back to the present.

"Yeah, well… we managed to get out of there and get back home, obviously." He looked over at Ducky, who nodded approvingly before taking up his end of the story.

"I've met with Jethro and Tony on more than one occasion to discuss the aftermath of their experience. I take it you've noticed Jethro's recent short temper?"

McGee nodded. "Would be hard not to."

"It's a symptom, along with lack of sleep and nightmares –"

Ziva sat up suddenly. "You are saying he has post traumatic stress."

"Yes. I made the official diagnosis recently."

Ziva looked at him, then at Tony. "He seems to be handling it well enough…" Her voice trailed off uncertainly.

Tony shrugged, then looked at Ducky. "I've been staying with him as much as possible."

McGee's eyebrows shot up. "He's okay with that?"

Ducky intervened. "Jethro has seen enough cases in his military service to recognize the signs. He knows one of the best ways to combat this problem is to get help. The fact that Anthony was present and knows the details of what happened likely make it easier for Jethro to let him be there."

Ziva was staring thoughtfully at the floor. "We have been making things worse for him by pushing for answers, yes?"

Tony nodded. "You know he wouldn't share this unless he felt he had to."

McGee looked at Ziva, then at Tony. "We'll stop," he said firmly.

Ziva nodded. "Please… tell him we are sorry."

"You know how he feels about apologies."

"Tell him anyway," McGee said. "If he wants to dole out a few head slaps, we can take it."

"And if there is anything we can do to help…"

Tony smiled at her. "I'll let you know. Just act normal, okay?"

They both nodded. Ziva looked seriously at Tony. "You are not suffering any ill effects?"

"I was never in any real danger." He ignored Ducky's skeptical expression.

McGee spoke up. "Ducky, is there anything else we should know?"

Ducky shook his head. "I take it you are both familiar with the basics? Then no… just try to, I believe the phrase is, 'cut him some slack'."

Ziva nodded and McGee smiled.

"Okay you two, back to work. If you have any questions, talk to me or Ducky."

They all got to their feet, replaced the chairs, and the two junior agents headed out. Tony went to follow, but was restrained by Ducky's hand on his arm.

"Anthony, stay a moment."

McGee glanced back and met Tony's eyes; Tony tilted his head toward the elevator, McGee nodded, and he and Ziva disappeared.

Tony turned to face Ducky. "That went well."

"Indeed. I am now more concerned about you."

"Me? I'm fine, Ducky."

"While you did not have such a change forced on you, you were placed in a position of grave responsibility. I saw your face when you said you didn't know if Jethro was going to come back from that trip. I take it there was truth to that statement?"

Tony hesitated, then nodded slowly. "I think we all assumed as soon as we planted the seedling and said the ritual, Gibbs would be human again. We waited for hours… nothing happened. I think that was the first time Gibbs really believed he'd be a fox for the rest of his life. It wasn't until the next morning that he changed back."

"And you?"

"Me?" Tony almost shrugged it off, but something in Ducky's eyes stopped him. "I thought I screwed up. That I did something wrong, messed up the ritual… that it was my fault Gibbs was still a fox. And then the next morning I couldn't find him… thought for a moment he took off, didn't want us to have to deal with him if he wasn't human."

"But he didn't."

Tony shook his head. "No. He doesn't remember much, but he'd left the tent, been, I dunno, called by the spirit or something, and ended up back at the tree. He woke up not far from there, human again."

Ducky looked at him for a long time, to the point where Tony started getting nervous. "I, uh, should probably get back to work…"

"I think you went through a difficult time too, my dear friend. It's clear that Jethro is very important to you, and you'd have been deeply hurt if you weren't successful at returning him to his natural form. Take care of him, but be sure to take care of yourself too… talk to me, or to Abigail, if you need to, but most importantly, talk to Jethro. Are these shared dreams a problem for you?"

Tony shook his head. "They don't affect me as much as they do him… I think I know they're dreams, when I'm in them, but to him, maybe since he really was a fox, they're more real."

Ducky finally let go of his arm; Tony was surprised to realize he'd still been holding it. "Alright… but I suggest you make sure to talk with Abby's shaman friend, once he arrives."

"I will, I can promise you that."

Ducky smiled at him. "And tell Jethro I thank you both for the trust you have placed in me."

"Couldn't ask for a better friend, Ducky."

Tony left Autopsy, and took the stairs back up to the bullpen, feeling the need to move. Gibbs was alone there when he arrived; he looked up as Tony walked back to his desk, and Tony could see him relax as soon as he sat down.

"Hey. They go to lunch?"

"Yeah. Said they'd pick some up for us."

"Sweet."

"Everything go okay?"

"All good. Think they'll back off now. They just needed to feel part of the team."

Gibbs stifled a yawn, reaching up to rub at his eyes. "Good. One less thing to worry about."

Tony watched him for a moment, then started typing.

_Ad_dinozzo: My place again tonight? Second movie?_

_Lj_gibbs: Sounds good._

_Ad_dinozzo: Take the bed this time. You need more sleep._

_Lj_gibbs: We could share._

_Ad_dinozzo: You sure?_

_Lj_gibbs: Why not? Did it before. _

_Ad_dinozzo: Good point. I'm game if you are._

Tony glanced over at Gibbs, who was already looking at him. He smiled, Gibbs rolled his eyes, and for a little while, everything felt normal again.


	4. Chapter 4

4: Heart to Heart

Tony sighed as he stepped into his apartment, maneuvering bags of take-out as he swung his foot against the door to close it behind him. He used his elbow to switch on the lights, relaxing as the warm glow lit the place. He smiled slightly, then moved into the kitchen to dump the bags on the counter before heading to the bedroom to change.

"Sanctuary!" he called out quietly, grinning to himself and he exchanged slacks for sweatpants.

Gibbs appeared in the doorway. "What was that?"

Tony straightened up, staring at the other man. "Damn, you're sneaky. I didn't hear the door."

Gibbs shrugged. "I like to keep in practice. What did you say?"

"Sanctuary? Lon Chaney as Quasimodo in The Hunchback of Notre Dame, 1923. Classic."

Gibbs made a show of looking around. "I don't see any bells."

"You do have some cultural background. Always suspected."

Gibbs tilted his head. "Sanctuary, huh? That why you've never had McGee or David over here?"

Tony pulled on his sweatshirt. "Yeah, I guess. Not interested in hearing their comments as they try to analyze everything."

"Ducky, me, Abby…"

"You guys accept things easier." Tony finished putting things away, then motioned toward the duffle bag hanging from Gibbs' hand. "I'll unpack the food… take over in here."

Gibbs nodded and tossed the bag on the queen size bed. "When'd you get this bigger bed?"

"A few months ago." Tony raised his voice so Gibbs could hear him from the kitchen. "Decided a solitary bedroom didn't have to mean I had to sacrifice comfort. 'S nice to spread out, you know?"

He listened for an answer but didn't get one. He unpacked the burgers and fries he'd picked up at the diner, then went into the liquor cabinet and pulled out the bottle of Gibbs' favorite bourbon, pouring just a splash into each glass. Gibbs came in and sat at the counter; Tony eyed his baggy jeans and USMC t-shirt over the long-sleeved shirt, sighing noisily.

Gibbs took a huge bite of his burger and chewed, looking at Tony from the corner of his eye. "What?"

Tony gestured toward Gibbs' upper body. "You are never going to set any fashion trends, you know."

Gibbs snorted. "Not trying."

"Obviously."

Gibbs smiled as he popped a fry into his mouth. "If you're really good, for your birthday I'll let you buy me an outfit."

"Shouldn't that be your birthday present? You're supposed to give _me_ something for my birthday."

"You think I want some fancy outfit for my birthday? Definitely a gift for you, not me."

Tony grinned as he sipped the bourbon; it had been a while since they'd bantered quite like this, and he was glad to have it back.

After dinner, Tony convinced Gibbs to take his drink into the living room while he cleaned up. Once he was done, he poured himself a bit more bourbon and then stood in the doorway, watching Gibbs as he sat on the couch and stared at the blank television screen, his glass on the coffee table in front of him.

Several different emotions chased across Gibbs' face; Tony thought he recognized impatience and discontent as the most obvious. When those were replaced by sadness, though, Tony moved, sitting a few away on the couch.

"You look like you're thinking hard."

Gibbs glanced at him, then leaned back, resting his head on the back of the couch and looking up at the ceiling. "This isn't me, Tony."

Tony blinked at that. "Who are you then, and what have you done with the real Gibbs?"

Gibbs huffed out a breath and reached up to run his fingers through his hair. "I'm serious. I don't… I'm not this open, easy to read. Don't want to be. Yet here I am with you, talking to Ducky, Abby…"

Tony waited, but Gibbs didn't say anything else, just closed his eyes and sat there.

"Well…" Tony cleared his throat. "Ducky said it – you've been through a pretty traumatic experience. Bound to change you, at least a bit."

Gibbs sat up suddenly, then got to his feet and began pacing around the room. Tony set his own glass down on the coffee table and watched him.

"Guys I served with, good, dedicated Marines, some of them saw and did things they couldn't accept. They were wounded, or they had to kill, or they watched friends die… they're the ones who've been through something traumatic. They had PTSD, some of them to the point where they couldn't serve anymore. And what the hell did I do? I was building a boat."

Tony leaned forward, resting his elbows on his legs. "Gibbs… Jethro."

Gibbs turned to face him.

"Are you saying you haven't _earned_ Ducky's diagnosis? 'Cause that's kind of silly."

"Silly?" Gibbs eyes narrowed.

"You think most people would handle waking up as a different species? Not being able to talk, having to rely on others, not knowing if you were gonna be yourself again – ever? If Ducky's right, I'm surprised it's not hitting you harder than it has."

Gibbs stared at him for a moment, then his shoulders slumped a bit and he walked over to the window near the piano, looking out at the city. Tony waited again for him to say something, but Gibbs stayed silent, so Tony got up and walked over to him until he was standing next to him.

"Look, Jethro – it's okay if I call you that, right?"

Gibbs sighed and continued to look out the window. "Of course it is."

"Ah, okay. Well, I don't know what it was like for you most of the time you were a fox. But I do know you were more affectionate, more open… playful even. Maybe some of that is sticking with you?" Tony tried to meet Gibbs' eyes, but the other man kept his gaze where it was. "I know you used to say that second B stood for bastard… but you've mellowed a bit in the past several years. Maybe being the fox helped you reach that side of yourself?" He paused, grimaced a bit, then spoke more hesitantly. "What were you like before I met you? Before you lost your family?"

Gibbs stiffened, then turned to face him, meeting Tony's gaze, his eyes roaming over the younger man's face. Then he seemed to shake himself a bit, and turned to go back to the coffee table, where he grabbed his bourbon and downed it in a single motion.

Tony leaned on the piano, crossed his arms loosely over his chest, and waited.

Gibbs stood there, looking down at the empty glass, then set it down carefully and turned to look at Tony. "Shannon and Kelly… they got the best part of me. When I lost them, something inside me shut down. Never did get it back."

Tony tried to decide if he should push harder, but before he could say anything Gibbs continued. "We would have movie nights when I was home, the three of us on the couch, watching movies Kelly would like. Sometimes we'd have popcorn fights. I remember…" His voice trailed off; Tony held his breath. "I remember so much laughter, feeling happier than I ever had, before or since." He turned to face Tony, who breathed in sharply when he saw moisture in Gibbs' eyes. "Tried to get it back, but none of the women since Shannon could get me to let my guard down."

They stared at each other, and Tony took a careful step forward. "You let me get close, when we were in New Hampshire."

Gibbs stared a moment longer, then nodded slowly, holding Tony's gaze. "I wanted to. Felt right. Easy."

"Like it was okay because you weren't entirely yourself."

"Maybe."

They looked at each other a moment longer, then Gibbs cleared his throat and looked away. Tony reached up to scratch his head; his gaze landed on his DVD collection. "Wanna watch the second movie in the trilogy?"

Gibbs followed his gaze, then shook his head slowly. "Not sure I've got the focus for it."

"No problem. What do you want to do?"

Gibbs sat back down on the couch and rested his head on the back. "No clue."

Tony moved forward, sitting next to him, this time closer. "You tired? Could just go to sleep."

Gibbs sighed, then surprised Tony by shifting over until he was leaning against him. "Usually this time of night I'm working on the boat."

Tony hesitated for a moment, then reached up with his free hand, gently touching Gibbs' face. "We could go over to your place if you want, hang out there, see if you can get back into it."

Gibbs shook his head. "Maybe tomorrow."

Tony started to speak, and closed his mouth. _Don't push_, he chided himself.

"Wanna listen to some music? Try to relax?"

Gibbs nodded toward the piano. "You play that thing?"

"Been a while, but yeah. How about letting me practice a few times first, so I don't embarrass myself?"

Gibbs huffed out a laugh. "Sure."

Tony got up and headed for his stereo, putting in a CD and then heading back to the couch as the sound of a piano concerto filled the air. Gibbs listened for a moment, then shook his head. "You are full of surprises."

Tony shrugged. "Helps me unwind."

Gibbs looked over at him, then reached out to tug him closer, keeping his arm around him and resting his hand on his shoulder. "Thanks, Tony."

Tony relaxed into his side. "For what, exactly?"

"Having my six. Being that loyal Saint Bernard all these years. Being patient."

Tony smiled. "You're welcome."

They sat there in silence for a while, Gibbs deep in thought while Tony eventually dozed off. He woke up when the music ended, sitting up and stretching while Gibbs watched.

Tony used a remote to shut the stereo off, then turned to look at Gibbs. "Time to turn in?"

Gibbs nodded slowly. "I can stay out here if you'd rather."

"Don't be ridiculous. You said it yourself, we shared a bed before, no reason we can't do it again."

Tony held out his hand, and Gibbs took it, letting himself be pulled to his feet. They took turns in the bathroom; Tony stripped down to boxers before getting into bed, and Gibbs joined him a few minutes later in boxers and his t-shirt.

Tony turned off the bedside lamp; dim light from the street made its way in through the blinds. "Night, Jethro."

Gibbs grunted and shifted onto his side, his back to Tony, who reached out and laid his hand on Gibbs shoulder for a moment. "Sleep well."

Gibbs tensed, then turned around so he was facing Tony. "You too." He lifted a hand, reaching forward to trace Tony's face with his fingertips.

Tony didn't move, just waited to see what Gibbs would do. _Don't push, don't push…_

Gibbs leaned forward and gently touched his lips to Tony's forehead. "Still working it through, Tony."

Tony nodded, reaching for Gibbs' hand and squeezing the fingers that had been resting on his face. "I don't mind waiting."

Gibbs returned the pressure, the moved back, resting his head on the pillow and closing his eyes. Tony moved their hands down to the mattress, keeping the contact between them as he fell asleep.

_He was on the mountainside again, at the campsite where they played a cross between tag and keep-away. There was no sign of their tent, or anything else. Gibbs raised his hand, relieved to see that he actually had a hand instead of a paw. The light was strange… either twilight or just before dawn, Gibbs wasn't sure. There was a crashing noise off to his right; he turned to face it, getting ready to face whatever threat was coming at him. _

_Tony burst into the clearing, looking around frantically. "Gibbs!" He ran to the other side, grabbing onto a tree trunk. "Damn it, Gibbs! Where the hell are you?"_

_Gibbs tried to call out to him, but he couldn't make a sound. He tried to move forward, but it felt as though his feet were anchored to the ground._

_Tony turned around, half staggering into the clearing, then sat on one of the large rocks. His shoulders slumped, and he rested his forehead on one hand. "Think, Anthony… where would he go?" Tony looked up, and Gibbs felt as if he's been punched in the gut at the sight of the naked despair on his face. "I screwed up… should have been Abby here, not me… must have messed up the ritual." He stood, started moving in another direction, calling out Gibbs' name. Then he stopped, falling to his knees. "How the hell am I going to find a fox if he doesn't want to be found?" _

_Gibbs felt a cold breeze on the back of his neck. He turned to see one of the large trees shift form; the tree spirit stood there then, reaching out for him, and Gibbs stumbled backwards, running into Ducky, who glared at him. _

"_So, Jethro, you'll run away from your fears, but you won't run to help Anthony?"_

_Gibbs tried to protest, but he still couldn't speak. Tony remained on his knees, head in his hands, talking to himself, trying to decide what to do. He didn't seem to notice either of them. Gibbs tried to reach out for him, but now even his arms weren't under his control._

_Then the long branch-like fingers of the tree spirit landed on his shoulder and he felt himself start to shift into the shape of the fox._

Gibbs woke to Tony calling his name. "Jethro, come on, wake up. You're human, we're home, you're okay…"

He sat up. "I'm awake."

Tony leaned over and turned on the light. "That was… interesting."

Gibbs rubbed his eyes, then looked at Tony. "Ducky looked pretty pissed off."

"No kidding." Tony looked at him searchingly. "It didn't happen like that."

Gibbs nodded. "I know… but it could have."

"You'd have taken off and left me on that mountain? Knowing I wouldn't stop looking for you?"

Gibbs stared at him for a long moment. "No… no, I wouldn't ."

"Didn't think so."

Gibbs looked at Tony for a moment, then shook his head. "I'm sorry, Tony."

Tony stared at him. "Uh, wow. You break a rule and I don't even know why."

"I've been so wrapped up in my own head that I never really thought about how much you've been dealing with."

"I wasn't a fox."

"No… but you were the one who had to get us to that mountain, and that dream gave me the strong impression that you were worried the ritual wouldn't work."

Tony shrugged. "Not exactly used to that sort of thing." He bit his lip. "Can't say I felt all that great when you didn't turn back right away… and when I woke up the next morning and you were gone…"

Gibbs didn't think, he just reached out and pulled Tony into a hug. "I wouldn't have left you like that. I don't know what I would have done… but I would have somehow let you know."

Tony's arms came around him and he held on tightly. "You know," he said, "if we're going to keep sharing dreams, we need to share more fun dreams."

Gibbs chuckled at that. "No kidding."

Tony pulled away and met his eyes, a small smile on his face. "Maybe if we plan out our next dream ahead of time?"

Gibbs couldn't help but smile at that thought. Tony's eyes lit up. "Hey, maybe instead of dreaming about hiking and foxes and tree spirits and annoyed medical examiners, we could dream about sailing or something!"

Gibbs reached out and pulled Tony close again, this time pressing a kiss to his lips instead of his forehead.

A surprised noise came from Tony's throat, but he got with the program quickly, returning the kiss and sliding one hand up Gibbs' back and into his hair, while the other hand moved to the back of his neck and held him in place.

Gibbs had one hand on the back of Tony's head, one on his shoulder. Their lips slid against each other, and there was just a hint of tongue sweeping back and forth; he wasn't entirely sure whose.

Tony shifted closer, pushing Gibbs back toward the mattress. Someone made a noise, or maybe both of them did; Tony let go suddenly, pulling back, and Gibbs thought he heard him whisper 'don't push,' but he wasn't sure.

Tony shot him a small smile, and seemed to be hunting for something to say. Gibbs moved forward, and Tony's eyes widened as he was the one pushed backwards, Gibbs moving to cover him with his body, taking up where they'd just left off.

Gibbs took one of Tony's hands in his, lacing their fingers together and holding them on the pillow next to Tony's head. Tony's mouth opened under his, and they lost themselves a little as they tasted and explored each other for several minutes.

Gibbs slowed the pace, eventually pulling back and looking carefully at Tony, who stared up at him, then grinned widely.

"Wow. Bossman's got mad skills."

Gibbs laughed, ducking his head. Then he raised it back up to look at Tony seriously. "I'm not running away from you, Tony, or from this. I want to believe what I feel is real and just me… and I know Abby and Ducky made a lot of sense. But…"

Tony's grin changed to a more relaxed smile. "It's alright, Jethro. I get it, I do. Still more than willing to wait for you to be sure." He waggled his eyebrows. "Won't mind if you feel like testing the waters every so often, just to sort of check on things."

Gibbs leaned in to nip at Tony's lower lip, then let go and rolled off of him. "I think that can probably be arranged."

"Good."

Tony turned and stretched as he switched the light off again. Then he moved closer, resting his head on Jethro's shoulder and putting one arm around his waist. "This okay?"

"Fine."

They were both asleep again in a little while, and when they dreamed, it was about sleeping curled up together, but as man and fox.


	5. Chapter 5

_Happy new year to all! Had to take a break to let real life take over for a while… hoping to be back on track for weekly postings, although I can't promise that. Next few weeks at work will be busy, then it should calm down a bit. Unbetaed, and I'm tired, so there are likely some mistakes I've missed._

5: Holding Pattern

**Real**

Tony stretched and shifted over in bed, turning to reach for Gibbs. His eyes opened when his hand failed to make contact with anything other than cool sheets; there was a dim light coming from outside the bedroom.

He sat up, rubbing at his eyes and glancing at the clock… 5:30 a.m. There was a faint noise from the kitchen; Tony sighed and tossed the covers back, getting out of bed and going to his closet for a robe.

Gibbs was already showered and dressed when Tony caught up with him in front of the coffee maker.

"Wow… you really don't need to practice sneaking, you know."

Gibbs looked over at him, shooting him a small, boyish grin before turning his attention back to the coffee.

Tony walked over, and watched Gibbs deftly manipulate the settings to his preferences. He poked the other man in the shoulder. "You, Jethro, are a fraud."

Gibbs settled back against the counter, raising an eyebrow and favoring Tony with an innocent look.

Tony shook his head. "I'm serious. You act like technology is beyond you, but you can operate my fancy machine."

"Survival skill."

Tony smiled, then looked at Gibbs searchingly. "You feeling any better about all this?"

Gibbs sighed and looked down at the floor. Tony waited, forcing himself to hold still, until the other man looked back up. "Not sure what to tell you, Tony. Still don't trust myself. Don't like feeling so out of control."

Tony nodded, then moved to the refrigerator. "Want something to eat?"

"What you got?"

"Eggs, cheese, bagels… want an egg sandwich? Could throw some bacon on that."

"Sure."

Tony threw breakfast together while Gibbs finished off his first cup of coffee and got started on his second. They ate quietly, sitting at the kitchen counter. Once they were done, Tony sat back and sipped at his own coffee while Gibbs got up and poured himself a third cup.

"So… basement tonight? Or you want to watch the second Lord of the Rings movie?"

Gibbs' lips twitched into a smile. "Are those my only choices?"

Tony shook his head. "No. What do you want to do?"

Gibbs looked down into his coffee cup. "Maybe the basement. Or that movie."

Tony shook his head, grinning. "Glad to see your sense of humor coming back."

Gibbs looked up at him. "I have a sense of humor?"

"You know you do. Used to see it at work a lot more often, back before… well, before a lot of things."

Gibbs nodded. "Yeah."

Tony looked at him carefully. "Last night… that felt pretty real to me."

Gibbs sighed quietly, drank some more coffee, then met Tony's eyes. "I want it to be. Sometimes I think it is, then sometimes I wonder… I don't trust myself right now, Tony."

Tony nodded, then got up and brought the dirty dishes to the sink. "I get it, Jethro. I'm not gonna push. But I want you to know something." He moved the few steps to bring himself closer to the older man, then leaned in and lightly brushed his lips over Gibbs'. "My feelings are real. But our friendship is more important… so if you decide you're not ready, or you don't trust them, I can put them aside."

Gibbs pulled Tony into a hug, holding on tightly before pulling back, squeezing Tony's shoulder, then downing the rest of his coffee.

"I'll see you at work."

Tony nodded, watching Gibbs put on his coat, unbolt the door, and head out. Then he went back to the kitchen to finish cleaning up before getting ready to leave.

**Doubt**

It was late in the afternoon when Tony made his way down to Autopsy.

"Ducky? You got a minute?"

Ducky was seated at his desk, signing off on some reports Jimmy Palmer was handing him from a file. He turned to face Tony and smiled. "Of course, my dear boy. Mister Palmer, why don't you take a break?"

"Sure thing, Doctor." Jimmy set the file down on Ducky's desk, shot Tony a smile, then headed out the door.

"What's on your mind, Anthony?"

Tony pulled a chair over to Ducky's desk. "It's Gibbs," he sighed as he sat down heavily, running his hand through his hair.

"Well, yes, I rather expected it was."

Tony shot the other man a rueful look. "I suppose I'm getting predictable."

Ducky reached out and patted the younger's man's knee. "It's a strange situation we find ourselves in… I certainly have no precedent on which to base any course of action. I suppose we can only hope Abigail's friend will provide some much needed insight." Ducky sat back and folded his hands in his lap. "Is there any word on when he'll be in town?"

Tony shook his head. "I'm going to check with Abby next."

"So what is it?"

"We got called out on a case this morning… Marine Corporal was found at the Naval Academy, badly beaten. He's in critical condition at Bethesda, in no shape to talk. Witness statements and other evidence narrowed everything down to two suspects… both of them are here, in interrogation."

"What seems to be the trouble?"

Tony shifted uneasily in his chair. "Both these guys have motive, means, opportunity… but usually in a case like this, Gibbs can rely on his gut to know which guy to focus on and how to break him."

"I take it the infamous gut isn't working."

"Nope. I've never seen him so uncertain." Tony sat forward suddenly. "Ducky – he was clearly focused on the one guy, and then it was like someone had pulled the rug out from under him. He was so conflicted."

Ducky placed his forearm on the desk and leaned forward. "Were Timothy and Ziva aware of his difficulty?"

Tony shook his head. "No… they were settling the suspects in interrogation. I was talking to Gibbs upstairs, and he seemed so sure it was Private Davidson – and then he hesitated, looked through his notes… the expression on his face, Ducky… he was so lost." He shifted again, unable to meet Ducky's eyes. "He sent Ziva and McGee to do the interrogations."

Ducky's brow furrowed. "That is unusual… not so much that he is letting the others do the questioning, but his lack of faith in himself is certainly concerning."

Tony nodded. "He's never been like this."

Ducky raised his hand in the air. "Ah, there, Anthony, you are incorrect. He has in fact gone through a period of self-doubt, and as I recall the situation was something like this one. He did not have access to all the facts, and there were outside forces at work – treacherous ones, as a matter of fact."

Tony stared at him. "When was this?"

"Do you remember when you had an Agent Wilson temporarily assigned to the team?"

"Yeah… Dwayne. Good kid. Last I heard he's Afloat."

"Indeed. Director Vance wanted Jethro's evaluation of the man. Rather than rely on his own observations, Jethro asked me to put together a profile."

"Why would he do that?"

"Because we had recently lost Agent Langer, who at the time was assumed to be the mole Director Vance had been hunting. Jethro had brought Langer back in from the FBI –"

"-and therefore he thought his own judgment couldn't be trusted. He didn't know Langer had been played by Lee."

"Exactly. As we all were." Ducky raised his eyebrows. "How was Jethro last night?"

Tony sat back and crossed his arms over his chest. "He's… conflicted, I guess. He's not happy about having to be more open about his life. Still hasn't been able to go in the basement."

"And his behavior toward you?"

Tony looked away, clearing his throat and turning slightly red. Ducky smiled. "I take it there is some progress in the, shall we say, intimacy you share?"

"Uh, yeah, a little… but he doesn't trust himself there either. What happened last night… it was, um, after a dream we shared – Gibbs got some idea of what I was worried about when we were up in New Hampshire. I think he was trying to make me feel better."

Ducky nodded. "I see." He gazed at Tony for a moment, then shook his head. "I take it what happened last night crossed some sort of line into a more physical type of reassurance?"

Tony nodded. "Wasn't that big a deal… it stayed PG-13."

Ducky shook his head. "Life is not a movie, Anthony. And do you honestly think Jethro would cross that line only to make you feel better? Even if his feelings didn't extend that far?"

"No, I don't. But he does."

"Ah… he still doesn't trust his own emotions."

"Got it in one."

"But he remains comfortable with you."

"Uh huh… called me his anchor after we got back from up north, although he wasn't sure what to think about that."

"Jethro has always depended on you, my boy. Be patient with him. I think you'll find that once he can be certain his actions are no longer controlled by an outside force, he will be much more willing to acknowledge his feelings for what they are and to act on them."

"And in the meantime…"

"In the meantime, continue as you have been... on his six, as you like to say."

Tony met Ducky's eyes. "Always."

**Enter the Shaman**

Tony walked into Abby's lab; he could hear her voice coming from her inner office. "Hey, Abs!"

"Tony! Come here!"

She waved him over as he got closer, then motioned to the phone on her desk. "Greg, Tony's here! Tony, this is Greg."

"_Hi, Tony."_

Tony widened his eyes at Abby, grinning. "Greg the Shaman! Nice to meet you!"

Greg chuckled. _"Just Greg is fine. Abby's been catching me up on what you and your friend have been going through."_

"You believe us?"

"_As a matter of fact, I do. I haven't heard of anything like this in my lifetime, but there's enough lore from tribal history to make this more than plausible."_

"Really? That seems so… strange, I guess."

"_After what you experienced?"_

"Good point."

Abby cut in. "Greg thinks he can help."

"Yeah?"

"_I think so. I'm still in Vermont, but I'm about ready to head south. I'll go talk to a few of the elders, get their take on things. My great uncle is still around; he's a shaman, and his memory is sharp as ever. He'll be able to give me some advice."_

Tony felt some of the tension in his shoulders release. "You've got perfect timing."

"_Your friend is struggling with all this, huh?"_

"More than a bit. He's not used to being so out of control of his life."

"_Abby said he thinks the spirit is still influencing him?"_

"Yeah… he doesn't trust himself – not professionally or personally." Abby shot him a concerned look; Tony gave her what he hoped was a reassuring smile.

"_Well, tell him that's highly unlikely – at least not in the way he's thinking."_

Abby's eyes widened. "You mean, there could still be something going on?"

"_Thought you just told me there is. Tony, Abby said you and this Gibbs are sharing dreams?"_

"Yeah… had a couple just last night."

"_That's pretty cool."_

"Sometimes."

"_Sorry – yeah, I can see where it's disconcerting. Look, let him know that the spirit can't be influencing his feelings or his actions from so far away. They operate within a pretty narrow range."_

"I'll tell him. But, well, could the spirit have, I dunno, put something in his head that's influencing him now?"

"_Sure. That's why you guys are sharing dreams. Did it start after Gibbs became human again?"_

"Yeah."

"_There you go. I have a few ideas about that, but I don't want to jump the gun on this. Hey, any chance you guys could make the trip back up to the mountain?"_

"Seriously?"

"_Might help."_

"I'll mention it."

"_It's beautiful up there in winter."_

"I'll take your word for it."

"_Hey, might not be needed. Depends on a few things."_

"I think if it'll clear things up, we can talk Gibbs into it."

Abby grimaced. "Vance too."

"Oh, goody."

"_Abby, Tony, I've got to run… I should be there in a few days. Try to relax… your friend will be fine, if what I think is going on is actually going on."_

Abby leaned toward the phone. "What if it's not?"

"_Then it's something else."_

"Greg!"

He laughed again. _"Come on, Abby, I'm sure I've owed you that for years."_

"Yeah, probably."

"_Tony, nice talking to you. I'll meet you in person soon."_

"Thanks, Greg. Have a good trip back."

"_Will do. Bye, Abby!"_

"See ya, Greg!" She punched the button to end the call, then jumped up and pulled Tony into a hug. "It's all gonna be okay!"

Tony returned the hug enthusiastically. "He's got great timing."

She pulled back. "Yup. Always has. It's like he's got a sixth sense about stuff like this."

"Shaman sense?"

"You're going to try to come up with a whole bunch of shaman jokes, aren't you?"

"Gonna have to do something to lighten the mood when Gibbs realizes he's going to be surrounded by mysticism."

"Yikes. You're probably right."

"So how do you know Greg, anyway?"

"We were in grad school together. Had apartments in the same building… we used to hang out all the time. He was studying philosophy and anthropology… we used to debate all sorts of ideas, try to figure out where science and shamanism could intersect. He was already deep into his shamanistic studies by then."

"Sounds like a cool guy."

"You'll like him." She leaned against her desk. "How's Gibbs?"

He recapped what he'd told Ducky; she chewed her lip and looked worried. "He's going to be okay, right?"

Tony nodded. "I think so. What Greg just told us should help."

She jumped up and pushed him toward the door. "So go! Go tell him!"

"We're in the middle of a case, Abby!"

"Find a moment. He needs to hear that!"

"Okay, I'm going, I'm gone!" He left the room, heading for the elevator.

**Change**

It was close to 9 p.m. when Tony arrived at Gibbs' house. He let himself in; Gibbs was sitting at the table, finishing off some take-out. He held the carton out to Tony, who shook his head.

"Grabbed a burger at the diner before I came over."

Gibbs grunted in acknowledgement, closing up the container and getting to his feet. Tony helped him clear stuff away, then put out a hand to tentatively touch him on the shoulder. "I talked with Abby's shaman friend this afternoon."

Gibbs turned to look at him. "Waited a while to tell me."

"Well, we were kind of busy, rounding up Davidson's friends and all. Did McGee get an update on Corporal Kensworth's condition?"

Gibbs nodded. "They think he'll pull through. Not sure his eyesight will come back a hundred percent; that's going to take a while. Charges might get upgraded, depending."

Tony grimaced. "Stupid move on Davidson's part."

"Yup." Gibbs looked expectantly at Tony. "So? Abby's friend?"

"Right… he should be here in a few days. Abby filled him in on the basics… he said to tell you the tree spirit can't be influencing you from so far away."

"So how does he explain the dreams?"

"Well, he didn't, exactly, but he did say he thinks he knows what's going on, and that it's nothing to worry about."

Gibbs shot him a skeptical look, then his eyes became unfocused as he thought things over. Tony watched and waited. After a few minutes, Gibbs shook himself a bit. "I guess we might as well go with that for now."

Tony nodded, but didn't say anything.

Gibbs sighed, then looked at him. "Come on." He walked purposefully to the door leading to the basement. Tony followed.

Gibbs opened the door, flipped on the light, then took a few steps onto the landing. He looked down at the boat, scanning the basement. Tony stood quietly, unnaturally still.

Gibbs took a deep breath, glanced back at Tony, then muttered something that Tony thought might be 'suck it up, Marine.' He headed for the stairs, moving slowly at first; after the first couple of steps down, he moved at a more normal pace, until he paused at the bottom of the stairs before making a beeline for the bottle of bourbon sitting on the workbench.

He filled about a third of a jar each for himself and Tony; Tony raised the jar in a silent salute, Gibbs followed suit, and they both downed the drinks. Gibbs set his jar down on the bench, then turned to look at the boat. He moved forward, running his hands over the wood, blowing some of the dust away. Tony watched, noting the tense set of Gibbs' shoulders as he moved.

Gibbs surveyed the entire boat, then looked over at Tony. "Okay to hang out for a while?"

"Of course."

Gibbs nodded once, then headed over to the bench to grab some tools. Tony watched closely, feeling the knot in his gut slowly dissipate as Gibbs' shoulders relaxed. He sat down on one of the old chairs and poured them each another shot of bourbon.

"So, want a recap of my conversation with Greg the Shaman?"

Gibbs looked over at him and smiled. "Sure."

Tony launched into a detailed monologue, enjoying the feeling of rightness being back in the basement gave both of them.


	6. Chapter 6

_Here we begin a trip through a mix of my imagination, mythology, and Abenaki history and culture, those last three researched from a variety of sources. I'm no cultural or historical scholar – science is my thing. I'm basing this story off interpretations of the mythology I've read, what little I've found on Abenaki shamanistic practices (almost nothing), and tried to bring it all in line with where this story is going. I'll provide a list of my sources at the end of this chapter – those sources will also apply for the rest of the story; I'll add any others I end up using. If anyone wants to know if anything I mention in this story is my imagination, mythology, or fact, please feel free to PM me. Anything directly referred to as legend or myth or history, as well as anything referenced as Abenaki language, is taken from one of the sources listed below. Anything relating to tree spirits, Gibbs' experience as a fox, or Greg's interpretation of what it all means is strictly out of my imagination and has nothing whatsoever to do with anything I've researched._

_Lastly, I mean absolutely no disrespect to the Abenaki people, their culture, or their traditional beliefs. I wanted to ground my story in some aspect of reality, and in the process I've learned a bit about a truly fascinating piece of North American history and culture._

_This chapter contains some references to events in the first story in this series, Silver Fox. _

6: Some Answers

**Anticipation**

Tony glanced at the lower right hand corner of his monitor yet again – the time had only advanced by two minutes. He sighed heavily, earning a Gibbsian raised eyebrow from across the way as well as an eye roll from McGee and an irritated look from Ziva.

"What has you on pins and needles, Tony?"

Tony gaped at her. "You would get it right if it involves sharp objects."

She suppressed a smile. "Seriously, Tony. You are jumpy. Why?"

"It's Friday. I'm looking forward to sleeping in and watching football."

McGee snorted. "We're on call this weekend, Tony. What are the chances you'll catch any of the games?"

Gibbs shook his head. "Director rearranged the schedule. We're off this weekend."

Ziva sat up and stared at him. "Since when?"

"Since I got the email from him about thirty minutes ago."

Ziva glanced at her own monitor. "Gibbs… may I make a personal call? I could rearrange my weekend plans."

Gibbs sat back in his chair and looked at her thoughtfully. "You and McGee… take off. We've all earned some downtime."

The junior agents hurriedly shut down their computers and gathered their things. McGee hesitated as he walked by Gibbs' desk. "Um, what about Tony?"

Gibbs looked over at his senior field agent, who was once more focused on his computer. "I'm good, Tim. Have to finish up these evals and requisitions – but then it'll be party time!"

McGee looked at him skeptically.

"What?"

"You called me Tim. In this situation, that usually means you're doing something you don't want me to know about."

Tony sighed and sat back in his chair. "Boss, our little probie is growing up."

Gibbs shook his head. "It's your fault, DiNozzo."

"True."

McGee ignored that. "Everything okay?"

Tony gave him a genuine smile. "Everything's good. Really." He widened his eyes and shot an exaggerated glance at Gibbs, who was making notes on a pad.

McGee glanced at him, then back at Tony, and moved closer to Tony's desk. "Is Gibbs doing any better?" he asked quietly.

Tony nodded. "Getting there." He waved his hand toward the elevator where Ziva was waiting. "Now go, shoo. Have a good weekend."

McGee looked like he was going to say something else, then nodded. "Bye, Tony, Boss."

Tony waited until the younger man reached Ziva before calling out, "Don't get lost in the internet, Elf Lord!"

He smiled to himself as they disappeared into the elevator, then glanced over at Gibbs. "We really get the weekend off, Boss?"

Gibbs nodded. "One of the other team leads wanted to switch with us, free up a weekend for some family thing. Vance approved it."

"Cool. Good timing, huh?"

Gibbs shrugged and focused on his work, leaving Tony to sit back and consider him carefully.

They'd gone into a comfortable holding pattern over the past several days. After the Davidson case, they'd caught a homicide that had taken them the past weekend and two more days after that to solve… then it was a few days of paperwork, tying up loose ends, and catching up on the other things that had been pushed aside. Whatever time they'd had off had been split between Gibbs' house and Tony's apartment.

Gibbs was getting more comfortable in the basement, but if Tony went upstairs for any reason, Gibbs found some excuse to leave it soon after. Neither of them ever discussed it. They were still sharing dreams, but in general those dreams were calmer than they had been, and sometimes Gibbs stayed human in them. They shared a bed, but there'd been no further physical intimacy since that first time in Tony's apartment. Gibbs was clearly still conflicted about it, and Tony didn't push.

Gibbs reached up and scratched the side of his face. "When's Abby's friend getting here?"

"Um, change in plans, actually. He wants to see the basement, so Abby figured we might as well meet up at the house. She's bringing him over around six."

Gibbs seemed to consider that for a moment. Tony suppressed the urge to start babbling, and glanced down at the monitor again. "It's getting close to five, Boss. Maybe we should head out, pick up some food or something?"

Gibbs sighed and reached up again to rub at the back of his head. "Might as well, huh?"

Tony got up and walked over to Gibbs' desk. "Could help to have a little time to relax before he gets there." He paused, then continued. "Having some answers has to help, right?"

Gibbs glanced up at him; Tony could see he wasn't particularly convinced.

"Remember what he told us last week… the spirit can't affect you from so far away."

Gibbs sighed, then abruptly pushed back from his desk and stood. "Let's go."

They shut down and packed up quickly, then walked together to the elevator.

**A Beginning**

They'd eaten half a pizza by the time they heard Abby's knock on the door, followed by the sound of it opening and Abby clomping into the house, accompanied by her nonstop chatter.

"… now Tony says the house is stoic, but I think it's got this understated charm, you know? Kind of reflects Gibbs' personality, or at least what I see. Not everyone gets to see that, since he's a pretty private person."

Gibbs' eyes met Tony's; he heaved a resigned sigh as both men got to their feet and walked from the kitchen to the foyer.

Abby smiled widely as they appeared, hugging a folder to her chest. "Gibbs! Tony! This is Greg Monlatak – well, actually, it's Dr. Monlatak, since he has his PhD and all."

Greg stepped forward, hand outstretched. "Greg, please."

Tony gave the man a quick appraisal as he introduced himself. Greg was Gibbs' height, in good shape, wearing a brown suede bomber jacket over a dress shirt and tie, with dark blue jeans and dress shoes. He had thick, straight dark hair that flopped over his brown eyes and a pleasant, slightly angular face.

Gibbs nodded to Greg as he shook his hand. Greg's eyes widened. "Wow… you've clearly been spirit-touched."

Abby stared at him. "How can you tell?"

Greg looked over at her. "It's a shaman thing."

Her eyes narrowed. "Are you going to pull the shaman card every time I ask for an explanation?"

"Depends on what you ask. I have no idea how to describe what I'm feeling." He looked over at Tony. "You've got it too – not as strong, but it's there."

Gibbs shot Tony a concerned look. Tony returned it, then laughed a bit. "Guess that's not too surprising, given the shared dreams thing."

Gibbs moved to take Abby's coat. Greg took his jacket off and followed Gibbs to hang it on the rack by the door while Abby and Tony made for the living room. Gibbs and Greg followed suit; Abby and Gibbs sat together on the couch while Greg and Tony each took an armchair.

"So," Greg began, "where would you like me to start?"

Gibbs stayed silent, so Tony sat forward. "You said on the phone there's some lore to fall back on?"

Greg nodded. "After our conversation, I took a side-trip to talk to my great-uncle. He gave me a lot of my shamanistic training, and while he doesn't have any personal experience with this sort of spirit, he had friends who did. They've passed on, unfortunately, but they shared the lore with him, and he's now passed it on to me."

Abby shifted on the couch, reaching out to take Gibbs' hand. "So you've heard of other people who've experienced something like this?"

Greg nodded. "A few, yes. Interestingly, they all took place in New Hampshire, in the Wawobadenik… what you call the White Mountains."

Tony cocked his head. "What does that translate to?"

Greg grinned at him. "White mountains."

Abby rolled her eyes and smacked him on the arm. "He does that all the time."

"It's fun." Greg shrugged. "Specifically on Godagwajo… Mount Washington."

Tony's eyes narrowed. "That doesn't translate to Washington, does it?"

"Nope. Hidden Mountain would be more accurate."

Abby spoke up again. "Is it weird that this all seems to happen there?"

"Can't really say. I'm western Abenaki; my family is based in Vermont, but the people extend into interior New Hampshire. The eastern Abenaki are in Maine. I don't think it's the people so much as the location. Godagwajo is a special place. Crazy weather, lots of people die there, especially in winter."

"Does the weather have anything to do with the spirits? And are there other spirits too, not just tree spirits?"

Greg sat back and crossed his legs. "According to one of our creation legends, Dabaldak was the first, the lord of creation. He made the world and drew from his own spirit to make spirits for everything living. The word 'monster' comes into play sometimes… other legends tell of the Abenaki hero Koluscap – that's one of his names, anyway – who defeated the frost monsters and tamed winter. Whether those monsters qualified as spirits or something else entirely… I couldn't say."

Abby started to ask another question, but Greg lifted his hand to her lips. "Abby, I will happily go into a lot more detail with you later… but I think your friends probably have more pressing questions."

"Of course!" Abby shot an apologetic look at Gibbs and Tony.

Greg sat forward. "Mister Gibbs –"

Gibbs shook his head. "Jethro."

Greg nodded. "Jethro, would you mind telling me what happened when you turned into the fox?"

Gibbs took a deep breath, then launched into the story. Tony watched him carefully, noting the tension in his shoulders. Abby held his hand tightly, and Tony found himself wishing he was in her place. They hadn't talked about that night in detail since their trip to New Hampshire.

Greg listened carefully without interrupting, then asked a few questions. He had Tony talk about what happened when he discovered the fox in the basement. After that, Abby handed him the folder she'd brought, which included pictures of the fox as well as her notes from her research into tree spirits and where the original spruce tree had come from.

Greg gazed at the pictures of Gibbs as a fox. "You make a beautiful fox, Jethro."

Gibbs sighed and shook his head. Tony grinned. "Angela sure thought so."

Gibbs' eyes widened and he turned to glare half-heartedly at Tony. "Don't remind me."

"What's this?" Abby asked.

"Tell you later," Tony replied.

Greg had a piece of paper in his hand and was reading it carefully. "Abby… is this the ritual you found?"

She let go of Gibbs' hand and scooted over on the couch to take a look. "Yup."

He looked at all of them. "This shouldn't have worked… but obviously it did."

Abby looked stricken. "What? Why not?"

"It's pieced together from a few different sources… not really meant for the purpose. But I guess the spirit read your intent, and didn't worry too much about the formulas."

Tony thought about that. "Can these spirits, I dunno, tell what kind of person you are? Good, bad, that sort of thing?"

Greg hesitated, then nodded slowly. "I wouldn't be surprised. Why do you ask?"

"I remember, the night before Gibbs turned human again, after we planted the seedling and did the ritual… I was having all these dreams about Gibbs, me, us working together… I remember waking up the next morning and thinking it was like someone was reviewing our case files, but things were all jumbled together."

"It's possible." Greg tapped his finger on the papers in his lap. "Maybe probable. The spirit could have been deciding what to do, and learning about you would have helped."

Gibbs cleared his throat. "Why a fox?"

Greg smiled. "That's an excellent question. It could have something to do with you – who you are, that sort of thing. It could be more about the spirit's intent. Turning you into prey, like a rabbit, would have been more of a punishment, and also would have made it less likely that you'd accomplish the spirit's objective."

"Why's that?" Tony asked.

"Bigger chance he'd have been eaten." Greg shrugged. "One of the stories my great-uncle shared was of a man who did get turned into a rabbit… he'd diverted a stream away from sacred ground to water his crops. Most of the stories have people turning into bears, predatory birds, coyotes, that sort of thing. Historically, there was a period of time known as the years of the fox, spanning a good part of the nineteenth and twentieth centuries. That was a time of integration of some of the Abenaki with people of European descent; some of the Abenaki chose what they called the path of the fox, and retreated into the mountains, staying isolated until around the seventies." He shook his head. "There's a theme here, in a way… things that are hidden." He looked around the room. "I have no idea what that means… yet."

Tony shifted in his chair. "So, what's next?"

"Can I see the basement?"

Gibbs led the way downstairs, with Abby close behind. She hadn't stopped holding his hand.

The shaman closed his eyes and stood with his hands raised slightly, breathing deeply. They all watched him silently, waiting, until Tony suddenly laughed quietly.

Greg's eyes opened and he looked at Tony curiously. "Sorry… it's just, you're a shaman, you're doing this mystical thing, and you're just not dressed for it."

Gibbs reached out and gave Tony a light head slap. Greg looked slightly startled by that, but didn't comment. He smiled at Tony. "That's okay, I get it. You're not the first person to tell me I don't look the part. Most of them are my freshman students, though."

Abby giggled at that, and Gibbs shot Tony a small smile. Tony sighed heavily.

"Can you tell that the spirit was here?" Abby asked.

Greg nodded. "The traces are faint, but they're there. Nothing malevolent… there's a sense of sadness, displacement – homesickness? But this isn't an evil spirit, not by any stretch." He wandered around the basement, stopping here and there to touch the boat or other objects.

"There isn't another spirit down here, is there?" Tony asked. Gibbs tensed next to him.

Greg shook his head. "No, just the traces that one was here. You've got nothing to worry about on that score." He walked closer to them, leaned against the workbench. "Here's what I can tell you so far. You were turned into a fox because it was what the spirit could do to get you to bring it home. The spirit had no evil intentions toward you, and I'm sure it meant to turn you back all along. That could be why the ritual Abby put together worked – the spirit didn't need persuading."

"And it can't do anything else to him now, right?" Abby squeezed Gibbs' hand as she asked the question.

Greg shook his head. "No way. Their power is defined in part by where they live… it limits them. Jethro had to be physically near it to be changed. There's absolutely no way it can reach you here from the mountain."

Gibbs relaxed a bit; Tony reached up to lay a hand on his shoulder.

"So why the dreams?" Tony asked. "And what's up with us sharing them?"

Greg shook his head. "I'm not sure. There are a few possibilities. You said that didn't start until after Jethro was human again?"

Both men nodded.

"Tell you what… let me go home, talk to a few people. Now that I've met you and have more information, there's a few more questions I know to ask. I could come back tomorrow?"

Gibbs nodded. "Sure. Be nice to get this figured out."

Greg smiled at him. "I'm sure. If it makes you feel any better, these dreams may have been meant as a good thing."

They all went back upstairs, and Greg and Abby took their leave, promising to return by mid-morning.

**Debrief**

Tony leaned against the wall as Gibbs closed the door. "So… what do you think?"

Gibbs shoved his hands in his pockets and looked at Tony. "Seems like a good guy."

"That's not exactly what I meant."

"I know."

Gibbs headed for the kitchen, opening the refrigerator and grabbing two beers. He handed one to Tony and they moved to the table where the rest of the pizza still sat. Tony boxed it up and put it in the fridge, then joined Gibbs at the table. They clinked the bottles together, drank, then stared at each other.

"You feel a little better, knowing your judgment's your own?"

Gibbs nodded slowly. "Still want to understand the dreams. If there's something in my head that it put there. But… yeah, I feel better."

"Good." Tony took another drink, then looked at Gibbs carefully.

Gibbs returned the gaze. "What?"

"Well… what would you say to going back up the mountain? Greg suggested over the phone that it might help."

Gibbs stared at him, then sat back and started at the wall. Tony watched him controlling his expression; his heart sank a little as he recognized a hint of fear.

"It might not be necessary," he added.

Gibbs sighed. "If it will help… gonna be a pain in the neck to get Vance to sign off."

"And McGee and Ziva will go ballistic if they're left out again."

"They'd have to deal. They're not coming."

Tony shook his head. "Of course not. And like I said… maybe we won't need to do it."

They finished the beer in silence. Tony watched Gibbs for a moment, then had an idea. "Think we could both use a distraction. How about heading back to my place… we could watch that second Lord of the Rings movie. This one's got some awesome battles scenes in it."

Gibbs tilted his head to one side. "Sounds like a plan."

While Gibbs went to get his go-bag from his car, Tony sent Abby a quick text telling her where they were going and that they'd be back by ten the next morning.

It wasn't long before they were sitting comfortably on Tony's couch, watching the movie. Tony ended up watching Gibbs much of the time; they'd clearly made the right move, since Gibbs was far more relaxed and clearly enjoying himself. There were often small, subtle touches between them, but for the most part they simply relaxed together.

Once the movie was over, they headed for the bedroom, sharing the bed like they'd done almost every night in the past two weeks. It didn't take long for them both to fall asleep.

They dreamed again… this time they were hiking in the mountains, both human, setting up camp at a familiar site. Once again they both turned into foxes, one silver and one red, and set out exploring, away from the trails. They sat together on a large rock outcropping to watch the sunset, then looked up the mountain to see the tree they'd planted, its branches waving in the breeze almost as if it were welcoming them back.

_Sources consulted for this story:_

_Abenaki Indian Legends, Grammar, and Place-Names, by Henry Lorne Masta, original copyright 1932. Reprinted by Global Language Press, Toronto, 2008._

_Encyclopedia of World Cultures: Abenaki, entry by Dean Snow, 1996, located at encyclopedia dot com_

_Seven Eyes Seven Legs: Supernatural Stories of the Abenaki, by Gerard and Yolaikia Tsonakwa, Kiva Publishing, 2001. _

_The Voice of the Dawn: An Autohistory of the Abenaki Nation, by Frederick Matthew Wiseman, University Press of New England, 2001._


End file.
